Excellent Wife Questions
These questions are adapted from the book: THE QUEST FOR GENTLENESS & QUIETNESS OF SPIRIT, by Matthew Henry
1. Am I more likely to think “This makes me mad!” or “What might God be doing in this situation?” (Proverbs 19:11).
2. What would more likely come to your mind: “Love is patient. I can respond in a kind way and give glory to God.” or “This irritates me!”? (1Corinthians 13:4-7)
3. Which describes how you would likely react: Sighing and withdrawing in anger or in gentleness trying to help the other person to understand? (Colossians 3:12-13).
4. Do you ever stop and ask yourself:
1. Why am I angry?
2. Why so very angry?
3. Why angry at all?
4. What reason is there for all this emotion?
5. Should I be so strongly reacting because of such a sudden and transient provocation? (Philippians 2:3-5 and 1 Timothy 6:11).
5. While angry do you ever reveal secrets, slander, make rash vows, make railing accusations, use reviling language, call names, or take God’s name in vain? (Titus 3:1-2).
6. Are you more likely to play angry thoughts over and over in our mind or to give the other person a blessing by praying for them? (Ephesians 4:31-32)
7. Are you clearing yourself when unjustly accused? Or are you really proud and quarreling? (1 Peter 2:19-23).
8. Is it easy for you to acknowledge your error or do you insist upon your own vindication? (1Peter 2:19-23)
9. Will you listen to and consider someone else’s reproof of you even if they are your inferiors (such as your child) or do you bully them and blame them? (Psalm 37:5-6,7-8).
10. Do you struggle greatly with difficult emotions such as anxiety or frustration during the days before your menstrual period? Is it likely your entire family will know your hormones are acting up? (Colossians 3:8-17).
11. Do you think calm thoughts or are you disturbed within? (James 3:13).
12. Do you deal gently with others showing patience and compassion or are you hard and unforgiving? (Colossians 3:13; Philippians 4:5).
13. Do you enjoy life and love life or do you dread each day and worry? (Philippians 4:6-7).
14. Are you easily provoked or slow to anger? (Proverbs 31:26).
15. Are your thoughts calm and rational or do you sometimes overreact to circumstances? (Ephesians 5:2; 1Peter 2:11-12).
16. Are you more like the high priest in Hebrews 5:1-2 who has compassion on the ignorant and those going astray (since he is also subject to weakness) or more like the wicked servant in Matthew 18:21-35 who would not have compassion and pity on his fellow servant?
17. Do you forbear (put up with others) or are you easily provoked for small cause? (Psalm 78:38-39); Philippians 4:5).
18. Are you fiery and hasty with what you say or do you take great care to think about how to respond? (Ephesians 4:29-30; James 4:1).
19. Do you use anger and threats to manipulate those under your authority or do you give instruction in love? (Psalm 106:32-33).
20. Do you err on the side of mercy when correcting those under your authority or are you harsh? (Psalm 103:8,14).
21. Do you treat others as you wish to be treated or do you treat them with contempt? (Matthew 7:12).
22. Do you grumble and complain at your present circumstances that disappoint you or are you grateful to God for what He is doing? Thessalonians 4:11; Philippians 4:12).
23. Are you quick to imagine injuries or do you assume the best about others unless proven otherwise? (1Corinthians 13:7-8).
24. Are you envious of the wicked or are you placing your trust in God? (Psalm 73:21-28).
25. Are you becoming more aware of times when you are not gentle with others and you are disputing with God or do you see no need to change in this area of your life? (1Corinthians 10:12).
26. When it is necessary to reprove (tell them what they are doing wrong) another person, are you more likely to lash out impulsively or more likely to gently try to help them to turn from their sin with good will, soft words, and objective arguments? (Galatians 6:1).
27. Do you pray and ask the Lord to make you a gentle women or does it not cross your mind? (Zephaniah 2:3).
28. Do you brood and become angry when you are persecuted for your faith or do you rejoice that the Lord counted you worthy to suffer for His sake? (Matthew 5:11-12; Acts 5:41; Psalm 39:1).
29. Do you become aggravated, hurt, or frustrated with God over your circumstances or do you have great joy in serving Him on His terms? (Isaiah 45:9; Proverbs 19:3).